I'm a sucker for fine Cuban cigars . . .

Brad Paisley, the country music singer, enjoys cigars on sufficient enough occasions to have developed a love for them, and to write a song about them. It is called "The Cigar Song," and it is found on his "Mud on the Tires" album. Unfortunately, the character loves cigars so inordinately that he ends up committing insurance fraud. No evil goes unpunished. And the love of cigars is no recognized affirmative defense to arson. So he is convicted and ends up in jail smoking cheap 10-cent cigars.

In his album "Mud on the Tires" is included a song entitled "The Cigar Song." The lyrics are as follows:

Well I'm a sucker for fine Cuban cigars
The problem is I can't afford 'em
But last year I went and got myself a whole box
And just to be safe I insured 'em

[Chorus]
I took out a policy against fire and theft
And then I hurried home
With a fifty-cent lighter I sat on my back steps
And I smoked 'em one by one

Two weeks later I went to see that insurance man
And I handed in my claim
With a straight face I told him that through a series of small fires
They'd all gone up in flames

[2nd Chorus]
They reviewed my case and they had no choice
But to pay me for what I'd done
And I took that check and bought a whole new box
And I smoked 'em one by one

Two weeks later this detective shows up
Tells me that company's pressin' charges
One speedy trial later they locked me up
On twenty-four separate counts of arson

[3rd Chorus]
And now I sit and I stare at a blank brick wall
Lookin' back on what I've done
To pass the time I've got some ten-cent cigars
And I smoke 'em one by one
Yeah, I smoke 'em one by one

Brad Paisley with cigar in mouth